Letter to a Young Seminary Graduate

Dear Young Seminary Graduate,


You asked me today what I thought about the statement from the Southern Baptist Convention - a  doubling down on their dismissal of women’s ordination. The first thing that came to mind was a meme circling the internet of a woman reporter speaking to a baseball player who is stepping on an overturned container to appear taller than her. The text? The man - “Men with little Bible knowledge.” The woman - “Women who have degrees in theology.” The bucket - “The patriarchial system.”


I wish that meme didn’t hit so close to home. I wish that things would be different for you, graduating from seminary and entering into the pulpit thirteen years after me. But the truth is, that meme doesn’t just hit hard because of the SBC - it hits hard because of all of the other ways that the patriarchy shows up and is ignored, even in mainline denominations.


Don’t get me wrong, my heart breaks for the women in the Southern Baptist Convention. Especially a dear mentor of mine who has her degree in theology, but her church will not use her in leadership outside of women’s ministry. She is a powerhouse in the world of discipleship, but she is regulated and silenced in her own church. 


But that isn’t the only reason my heart breaks. 


My heart breaks thinking back to when I was ordained, and one of my churches wouldn’t acknowledge my ordination publicly. I say one because the other church I served at the time had a huge, secret celebration that I almost missed. I was so distressed by the other church’s attitude, led by a few males centering on not doing enough for them despite working myself to the point of being ill, that I almost missed the blessing that was before me. 


I don’t want you to work yourself into illness because of the attitude of a few men. 


My heart breaks thinking back to my last appointment, where I completed my doctorate in church leadership. As that journey began, I explained to the PPRC and each church board what I would be studying, only to have one male church leader think it was their right to vote on whether I should be able to “become more educated.”


I don’t want your education to be dismissed because a male feels threatened by the gift God has given you. 


My heart breaks thinking back to a Sunday School class I had led, where one of the male participants derailed the entire conversation on a directional topic we weren’t discussing because “he had done a lot of research.” This echoed a church meeting just a few days before where another male congregation member tried to tell me that I was incorrect in my denominational polity because his “family member has looked it up and told me all about it.”


I don’t want you to be silenced by the egos a few men that are allowed to run amuck.


Lord, help us. 


Young seminary grad, I wanted this to not be your story. But it is still the story of women clergy today. Even with our education and experience. Even with our calling from God. The truth is that you don’t just have to do your job well (some would even argue excellently even when that isn’t the expectation for other clergy who are not young and female) but you need to navigate how respond to these male congregation members as they stand upon the overturned bucket of patriarchy. 


If I’m honest, I haven’t always done this well. I don’t have an answer. If I’m all too honest, I let the patriarchy dictate my response far too many times - choosing silence and timidity over boldness and courage. 


Because the patriarchy isn’t just alive and well in the Southern Baptist Convention - it is stealthy stealing voice and dignity daily in other denominations as well, even those who celebrate the calling and ordination of women. When women are treated as not as knowledgeable. When our degrees are seen as pieces of paper with little value. And when our voices are dismissed in favor of others. Or when our ideas and teachings are accepted only after being expressed through a male voice.


So, what do we do with our hearts break, young seminary grad? We get up day by day and face what is before us, working hard to do better. To be better. To lead the Church to be better. Because what we do today is not for us - it is for the next young seminary grad to come. 


Your Mentor in Ministry