Pride

Pride is one of those words that I struggle with in my bones as a pastor. I grew up in a home where my parents were not shy about telling my brothers and me that they were proud of us and that pride was not singularly tied to accomplishments. They were proud of how we treated others, lived into who we were created to be, and showed up in the world. I grew up in an extended family, where my maternal grandparents were a staple of our lives and not only said they were proud but showed it - pulling out pictures to show their friends of our latest band concert, game, play, or dance recital. There wasn't a shortage of the word pride, nor was it in any way tied to the concept of sin - in my mind, there were different buckets between good pride and pride that may distract and lead me down a road of self-importance. 

So imagine my surprise when preaching at one of my small congregations, and I said that I am proud of the relief work that my denomination engages in, collectively, during times of natural disaster, only to have a gentleman start shouting at me that I was sinning by saying the word "proud" from the pulpit. There was some scripture quoting as his voice raised, leaving me without words before I finally said, "Let's go to God in prayer."

This man was wrestling with some deep wounding within his own life, and the life of this congregation, but his words continue to be ones that I wrestle with years later. Is it wrong to feel a sense of pride in the qualities of ourselves or others that are God-given? I don't think so. It is also not lost on me that one of the definitions of pride found in the dictionary is conscious of one's dignity. 

When my parents and grandparents said they were proud of me, they affirmed my dignity. When someone says they are proud of how our church shows up in the community in which we are located or that I'm their pastor - they are making a statement about dignity. Yet, for far too long, there has been this convoluted idea that all pride cometh before the fall, and as a result, we have stripped away people's dignity. 

I don't need people to tell me they are proud of me to live into being a pastor. I don't show up in other areas of my life and pour out my heart for accolades. And yet, there also needs to be an acknowledgment of the profound harm that the institutional church can inflict when we adopt the attitude that boiled out of my congregation members that day. We do not have the right to use the idea that we should not be proud people to diminish others' dignity. 

​Pride and all of its nuances may be something that I have struggled with my whole life, but for this moment in time, I know this - God is the giver and restorer of dignity, and any time that my church can show up and remind people of that, I am a proud pastor.